In reading "The Happiness Project", the author suggest writing commandments for your life. I thought about this and I thought, well hers sounds good. But then realized she is not me, and I am not her. I pondered some more about what I could write, how it could relate to me. Who am I? Well right now I am the mom of three boys. I know I am MORE than that. I am a wife, a friend, a daughter, a co-worker...I am me. But what consumes me is being the mama of three growing, young boys. What I struggle with every day is "am I doing enough".
I am blessed to have a husband who works in the schools. This means I have a EXTENDED family unit. I sit and watch any number of sporting events and see what wonderful children others are raising. During basketball for example, the high school boys (who do not have to at all), take the time to teach my boys, to talk to them, to LISTEN to them. My boys learn from their example on how to win with grace, lose with pride and work hard for what you want. But I know these kids did not turn out how they are by luck alone. They have parents who are there for them, and from who I can learn from as well.
Here is what I see as my new commandments of motherhood. This will be the list that I will pray for every night. These things are the items that I will care about and focus on. I will TRY not to get rattled by the little things, as I know these are the things that matter. These are the things I can pray I will instill in my boys.
-Manners are important...even for boys!
No one wants a child around (or an adult for that matter) who doesn't have good manners. It is not acceptable to pick your nose...ever. Please and Thank you will get you far.
-Winning is not the only thing, Losing is not the end. It is how you learn and react from each experience.
I pray that having three boys, they will learn that they can't always win. However, up until now, that does not seem to be the case. We have had countless tantrums and fights due to who won, how they won. How the video game cheats. Really???
-Flush the toilet and put the toilet seat down.
One day their future wives will thank me for this. I will sacrifice the countless "fall ins" for them.
-Your brothers are your best friends.
This means under no circumstances is it okay to hit your brother with a bat, jump on him after having a running start, or put ice down his underwear. When you are told to go to bed and are "secretly whispering" to each other and giggling, this makes my heart smile.
-The house will be filled with faith and God's Grace.
We are working on this one. It will be up to Phil and I to teach them to love and trust in the Lord with all their hearts.
-Don't judge other, or care about the judgment of others.
I compare myself daily to other moms. I am trying to realize that as I look to their day and think it may be easier, they may feel the same of me. All moms yell at their kids in the middle of Walmart at some point (right??) We do what we do to get by.
-Education is the path to everything.
So as you give me the dirty look when I make you do your spelling words 10 times each, or as we fight about what the right answers (I forgot Pluto is no longer a planet...oops!) This my dear, will all come in handy sometime.
-Be nice to girls. ALWAYS!~
Maybe not today, but someday you will thank me for it. You will treat them with the utmost respect. And if you don't I will personally come kick your rear end.
-Everyone is different.
As a mom, I all too often forget that. I cannot discipline one the same as the other. One loves birds, one loves sports and one just loves to talk. They are different people with different hopes, different feelings.
-Follow through.
Do what you say you are going to do. No means NO, YES means YES.
-Unconditional LOVE-
Nothing you can do will make me love you any less. I may yell and scream, but I love you. Even when you put the lizard in your t-shirt draws. Even when you get that lunch detention, even when you shave your brothers head down the middle. I WILL STILL LOVE YOU!